I don’t know what happened first. The universe moves in mysterious ways, and spring does strange things to me. I think my husband came home with these:
and then I staggered out of the chiro after a great massage and looked into the window of the jewelry store next door. This caught my eye:
I wanted it, but I quit accessorizing in culinary school. You don’t want your fancy watch gathering bread dough or your earring falling unnoticed into an 80-quart bowl of cake batter. Then I had the children and watches scratch nursing babies. And who the hell gave a crap about wearing earrings, lol? But I bought the watch, two pair of earrings, a turquoise ring and three jeweled hairclips:
What the fuck?
I don’t accessorize! And I’m too old for bling!
AND THEN I watched a burlesque school documentary the other night called “A Wink and a Smile.” The narrator was smart as hell and looked like Katy Perry. (I was going to watch Burlesque with Cher and Christina Aguilera but my husband took way too long snuggling our son – can’t blame him – so I hooked up something free on NetFlix.) I was transfixed. I loved the jiggle and the tease but more than that I loved the students’ searching, their vulnerability and their epiphanies.
When one of them said (something along the lines of) I feel my image of myself limits what I can do, I thought – holy shit! Me too! I fell in love with the Lady-like Pervert because the first blog of hers I read was about body image. This is my sister, I thought. I am not alone.
I’m almost 40. When can I rock jeweled hair clips? Red fishnet stockings? Feathers? A corset? Some emotional honesty? Where is my sexy? It can’t all go into my writing. Where is the verisimilitude? The authenticity? When will I be brave enough to claim my own sexy?
Now, my people. It’s mine. I may drive a mini van (yep). I’m a geek. I even consider myself shy because I prefer books to people (often, umm, always, but I like you guys.) I have small boobs. I’ve had three kids and I won’t embarrass them in public. I’ll save the corsets and feathers and fishnets for more appropriate venues (like the Passionate Ink party at RWA this summer!) but by gods, I wore my jeweled hair clips all day yesterday.
And then I took my sexy shopping:
Mine, all mine! The jewelry, the corset and feathers, and the epiphany too.
Of course, you can get your own… 😉 😀