OMG, It’s The Fucking Hamster

So, it’s too early to be awake and I’m sitting at the kitchen table. I’ve gotten into the habit of going to bed too early, which means I’m up too early. Naturally, I’m doing what every woman does in this situation: sexting my husband, who is already hard at work (ha!). I’m sexting not for the sexy, I’m so juicy reason. For the sorry, honey, I’m so lame, I swear we’ll get laid tonight reason. I try not to say things I don’t mean, especially on the internet, so I went back and read my very own blog post Too Tired To Have Sex? I think I’ll go for a 4/1 combo tonight.

If you follow me on Twitter @Miranda_Baker, you know that I occasionally refer to my mornings as “the hamster wheel.” Every morning it’s coffee, e-mails, writing, school lunches, breakfasts, dressed, teeth, shoes, coat, backpacks, bus…and lately, off to work for me at the local community college, teaching pastry arts. It’s busy, which is not to say my life wouldn’t be a hell of a lot easier if I did a few things the night before. But I don’t. So there.

Last YEAR, we told our son if he did a good job starting kindergarten, then yes he could have a hamster. We put the bribe in place super-early because said son is a trickster, a master manipulator, and so effing cute he makes you think it was your idea to do whatever he wants you to do. And it was essential to my life that he get on the bus without a fuss. He did. And about a month ago, we could no longer deny that he had done a good job starting school. He jumps on the bus every day and comes home, laying down the law of his kindergarten teacher. Momma, we must find my hat and gloves. Mrs. Darling says it’s going to snow tomorrow.

We got the hamster, a “fancy bear” hamster. He named him Pogo.

And I now know, first-hand, that my mornings are nothing like a hamster on a wheel. The single-minded determination with which Pogo runs is mind-boggling. He puts his whole heart into it. He goes fast. Nowhere. I’m going somewhere, not nearly as fast or as enthusiastically as he’s going nowhere, but somewhere. Lately, I’ve needed a little reminder (for reasons both in and out of my control) that the most important somewhere I’m going isn’t a bestseller list. My somewhere is a happy, healthy, celebratory family place. Yes, I love my projects. I am very happy when I’m running. But I MUST be equally happy when I’m off the wheel. Balance, people, I need balance. I come to this realization frequently, but whatever. We’ve all got our core story.

So I’m sitting here at the kitchen table, plotting an evening of chair-sex, and I hear a rat-a-tatta-ta. I ignore it. It starts up again. Then stops. I think it’s the heat vent, and as soon as the blower goes on, I’m gonna adjust it. Rat-a-tatta-tat. I follow the sound into the living room, where Pogo is running like hell on his “silent” wheel.

Got it, oh universe. Balance.

They say you should give gifts you would like to receive yourself, so I wish happy, holiday balance to each and every one of you. Happiness, on and off the wheel and everywhere in between. XOXO!

 

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2 comments

  1. They are nocturnal! The awesome little hamster dude at the pet shop warned us about playing with her during the day. “Wake her up slowly,’ he said.
    And Barbara on the bed, you on the adjustable-height chair, hello g-spot sex is even better. Just. Sayin. Although I know not every couple is lucky enough to have an office in their bedroom.

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