Too Tired To Have Sex?

So, my longest running BFF called me the other day. We’ve been friends for more than half our lives now. In fact, she was my very first reader and I listed her in the dedication for SoloPlay.

BFF: Okay, I’m just going to ask this. Do you really have as much sex as it seems like you do, and if so, how? Because I’m exhausted after I put the kids to bed, and you have more kids than I do.

Me: *guffaw*

My life is complicated. I’m a mother, a teacher, a writer. I work hard, sometimes too hard, but I don’t want to lose the sexy in my life. I want to grow up and be a hot old lady, but sometimes I get tired and my fantasies revolve around zzzzzzzzzzzzzs. Here are my top five tips for bringing the sexy when you’re sleepy:

1. Don’t lie down. Seriously, do it in a chair. Or standing up. Somewhere that doesn’t have a pillow. Because pillows

Chair

I dare you to fall asleep in this. Especially sideways.

feel good. So does a blanket. Then it’s Turn off the light, darling. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It’s much harder to nod off in a chair. If you can go to sleep standing up or in a chair, you probably should not be having sex. Go to bed and live to sex another day.

2. Get a jump start from your partner. Would you rather fall asleep during the deed or would you rather say: Sweetie, I’m gonna need a jump start tonight. The cables are in the drawer. (Cables=Vibrator. Or whatever.)

3. Start the party by yourself. Sometimes the hardest part is getting (un)dressed and getting out the door. Once you actually get there, you have a really good time and you are glad you went. So…start the party and then invite a guest.

4. Have a drink. Or don’t. Whichever works for you.

5. And my number one tip for how to bring the sexy is…read erotic romances. (Seriously. Not a plug for my novellas.) But not for more than 15-20 minutes. More than that and you might get too into the story. The story will wait for you. The person downstairs getting impatient ’cause s/he thought it was on and s/he hears you flipping a hundred plus pages? Not so much.

It’s no secret that I like the sexy, and now you know what I told my BFF. I hope some of my tried and true tips are helpful to you, too. Feel free to let me know how the chair works out! 😉

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3 comments

  1. I have GOT to start reading your novellas. Great advice. I find that it also helps to watch a little bit of porn. Not together. Not for me, anyway. So hilarious about the sleeping, too, and the pillows, but I’ve been blessed with a wife with a libido, so we just have to give each other the look and then meet up some time between the last child dozing off and watching TV, and whether pillows are around or not don’t seem to matter.

    Other people would say that’s too domestic and routine, but other people don’t have as many orgasms as we do.

    You’re one of the best things I found this year, too. Thanks.

    1. I just got jealous there for a minute. Of your wife’s libido. I wish I liked porn more. I’ve got nothing against it but I like a little story with my sexy. My husband almost had me talked into writing a script for a #romcomporno but I’ve got too many damned deadlines already. We also considered filming it with Barbies…

  2. YES, Miranda, I la la LOVE your suggestion for getting tuned in and turned on… woo hoo! I agree 100%!!

    Thanks for writing such delicious erotic romance novels… LOVED seeing Power Trip pop into my Kindle yesterday… hooray!

    MUAH!

    Ande

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