I’m an anti-resolutionary, as anyone who has read my Bottoms Up Manifesto on the Samhellions blog knows. I don’t think that the clock striking midnight on New Year’s Eve means I need to make a list of ways to improve myself. I’m hard on myself already, and I have sworn to focus on the positive!
It’s not a cop-out. I’m not abandoning self-improvement. I’m forswearing guilt. It’s a fact that I cannot seem to do the simplest things that are the best for me. I don’t do the exercises that my chiropractor prescribes. I forget to take my vitamins. I don’t eat enough vegetables. (I’m doing it, can you hear me doing it? Do you do it too? Play that negative tape in your head?)
However, I don’t miss deadlines. The children are never late for school. I pay the bills on time and my husband gets laid more than any guy on the block. My to-do list is epic and I cross tasks off at a pretty good clip. *relieved sigh* I am a good girl and yet… I really WANT to be more buff in my forties than I am in my thirties. What is so hard about lifting a few weights and popping a few vitamins with a refreshing glass of water? Am I lazy? Am I afraid to fail? Or, as my husband gently suggests, do I just need something to beat myself up about to be happy? Uh-oh. *dropping the whip* I’m doing it again.
Can I master guilt? Maybe. Since I wrote my manifesto I’ve done my exercises, taken my vitamins and eaten more vegetables. All because I stopped feeling guilty about NOT doing it? No guilt? Just good? Is that even possible?
Hell, yes, it is! Happy New Year! So far so good for me. (In case you were wondering, Bottoms Up is doing GREAT! It’s #4 on the MBaM bestsellers list and I got fan mail!) I guess you could say I’m topping my guilt. Clearly, it’s a head game and I’m exploring the other side of the power dynamic. What a rush! Anybody want to join me?