Mastering Guilt

I’m an anti-resolutionary, as anyone who has read my Bottoms Up Manifesto on the Samhellions blog knows. I don’t think that the clock striking midnight on New Year’s Eve means I need to make a list of ways to improve myself. I’m hard on myself already, and I have sworn to focus on the positive!

Release Day Roses

It’s not a cop-out. I’m not abandoning self-improvement. I’m forswearing guilt. It’s a fact that I cannot seem to do the simplest things that are the best for me. I don’t do the exercises that my chiropractor prescribes. I forget to take my vitamins. I don’t eat enough vegetables. (I’m doing it, can you hear me doing it? Do you do it too? Play that negative tape in your head?)

However, I don’t miss deadlines. The children are never late for school. I pay the bills on time and my husband gets laid more than any guy on the block. My to-do list is epic and I cross tasks off at a pretty good clip. *relieved sigh* I am a good girl and yet… I really WANT to be more buff in my forties than I am in my thirties. What is so hard about lifting a few weights and popping a few vitamins with a refreshing glass of water? Am I lazy? Am I afraid to fail? Or, as my husband gently suggests, do I just need something to beat myself up about to be happy? Uh-oh. *dropping the whip* I’m doing it again.

Can I master guilt? Maybe. Since I wrote my manifesto I’ve done my exercises, taken my vitamins and eaten more vegetables. All because I stopped feeling guilty about NOT doing it? No guilt? Just good? Is that even possible?

Hell, yes, it is! Happy New Year! So far so good for me. (In case you were wondering, Bottoms Up is doing GREAT! It’s #4 on the MBaM bestsellers list and I got fan mail!) I guess you could say I’m topping my guilt. Clearly, it’s a head game and I’m exploring the other side of the power dynamic. What a rush! Anybody want to join me?



  1. I don’t do resolutions either, although I work well with having goals for the year or the month, and having To Do lists for particular days or weeks. They’re more like guidelines, really, of course…

  2. I live for projects. I get all itchy if I’m not in the middle of something, usually several somethings. I really like the idea of “guidelines.” That’s a nice gentle word – I’m going to use that from now on.

  3. Oh, Gods, not that – politics and geography are not my strongest suits, but i would VP you any day! Must think of campaign slogan. Hmmmm. Pervert for President. Ladies Like Perverts… for President. 2011 (knocking wood, you know me) is going to be a stunner.

  4. Thanks! It is a perfect title, and I wish I could take credit for it. However, an editor at Samhain thought of Bottoms Up and I LOVED it! The hero is a bartender and, well, you know…

  5. Guilt is such a killer and it’s wonderful to be able to dump it, adds a whole new dimension of quality to life. I’ve decided to not feel guilty about anything that I cannot change and just have fun! Best wishes for 2011, hope your book’s a bestseller!

  6. Best wishes right back at you!
    That’s a really good point – the things that cannot be changed. I’ll apply that one for a while and see if it works for me, too.
    If I can think of four more things to master, I’ll make it a month of mastery. (And thanks for the bestseller karma. That would be cool :D)

  7. Well I’m not really sure you can prove that your husband gets laid the most on the block… But I’m pretty sure that writing and researching sexual topics all day must keep it more at the forefront of your mind. So, my non-resolution Lol would be to think about sex more from the hours of 7-9pm, that way after the kids are in bed- BAM!

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